Picture of the Day

This picture is from my sister's 21st birthday last year July. Before you start thinking the three girls are my cousins. 

EXCUSE ME: Royal wedding, Lagos style

Look, officer, I was going to stay out of this, but after watching CNN and seeing the kind of pekelemes preparations for Prince William's wedding, I can't stay out of this matter anymore. From all indications, it seems you British people think a royal wedding should be like that of a Nigeria Railway junior staff's marriage. Therefore, I am applying for visas for the best wedding planners in Lagos. I am sure you have been around long enough in Nigeria to see how weddings are conducted here. We want your people to have a taste of that.

We will bring Lagos high life to London and shake whatever cold off your bodies, and throw summer colours into your sombre hued London Fog coats. All of these people applying for visas today are owanbe specialists. It's a pity you are going to be in Lagos while we are leaving a taste of a lifetime in your palace dwellers' palates.

Here are the applicants, please:

Mama Tunde - she is locally known as the aso-ebi queen. Let's assume you sneeze right now, instead of her to say "bless you" and offer you a hankie, right under your nose she would sew and sell aso-ebi (uniform) for the entire embassy staff, gate men, security guards and other visa applicants just to tell you "e pele o, e pele o". Mama Tunde knows every textile mill in Sub-Saharan Africa and by the time she is done donning ankara, damask, tie and dye, etc on white wedding attendants, you would think you were in a Yinka Shonibare art opening at the Smithsonian, instead of a royal wedding.

Aunty Titilayo - she is our souvenir baroness. If you want to know the meaning of ‘branding', check her out first. She will brand everything under the sun for William's wedding. Name it: from Raleigh bicycles to Mini Coopers, office chairs, jacuzzis, shower curtains and pure water. If you need branded babies (just in case the likes of Madonna would be attending the wedding), let Aunty Titilayo know. And she would have no qualms distributing these items during the reception, no matter the crowd.

Iya Buki - she is also known as Mama Silk. She has no problem covering the entire Trafalgar Square with yards and yards of silk. If you need her to lay a red carpet on the road from Heathrow Airport to Buckingham Palace, that would simply be like asking her for a throw pillow on your living room couch. She can also give the London Bridge the ‘Breadfruit Effect', which is what she does with balloons at events.

Ronke - she is the Change Agent. People need to ‘spray' the newlyweds with money during their first dance and that is where she comes in. Forget the fact that the Royal Family is wealthy; you British should learn to show off a little bit. Ronke's job is to break your large notes to manageable smaller crisp pounds sterling notes. If you need to break a hundred to fives, her charge is two percent - you need to be quick on mental arithmetic or Ronke will show you that Balogun Street is smarter than Broad Street.

Mama Ngozi - Emotion Generator. What does she do? Ah, she is very important; she whips up emotions during wedding speeches. Something like, "I wish Sister Diana was alive to see this William her son on this beautiful day...boohoohoo." And before you know it, everybody is crying and donating their houses and cars to William and Kate without thinking twice.

Uncle Bankole - The Wine Merchant. You people's plan is to serve wine in glasses and calculate how much each glass costs? That is not how we do it in Lagos, please. Leave this matter to Uncle Bankole, who will give each and every one of the invited guests as many bottles of the most expensive wine on earth as they can drink. Beer, champagne, brandy and other kinds or drinks will be distributed in cartons by his boys. As we used to say in Ekpoma, don't count the people on a table, count the bottles.

Iya Bose - Chef Extraordinaire. This woman here can cook jollof rice and fried meat that will send an aroma from the British Isles to the Isle of Pigs. For the vegetarians among you, she has Lagos Special Salad. I must warn you that our salads are full meals, not appetizers, please. As for the wedding cake, she has already designed one of Buckingham Palace, with William and Kate sitting on the roof.

Meet Pastor Adeboye. He will pray for the royal family and cast out all those generational curses that may have plagued the royal family since they looted arts and artefacts from Benin Kingdom.

Pastor Kumuyi will pray for the Middletons and abate their fears in case they are nervous about their daughter's future. You know our people say inhabitants fear ordinary lizards in a house where snakes bite.

Pastor Chris will pray for the newlyweds. His acquired accent is the only one the youngsters can understand.

Did you ask who will pay for all this? The federal government of Nigeria, of course. We all delivered our wards and constituencies during the presidential election.

Coiled out of 234next.com

by:- Victor Ehikhamenor

Victoria Beckham Knows her Fashion

Kate Middleton's wedding dress

EDO Rainmakers Also Invited to the Royal Wedding

Unconfirmed reports reaching TRENDS by Bukchris has it that famed rainmakers from Edo State in Nigeria have been invited to England to attend the Royal wedding.

Despite what some have descried as the rude snubbing of Nigerian big men like GoodLuck and the Nigerian Ambassador to England, the House of Windsor has invited the Edo State indegenes to the wedding ceremony of their Prince William to his Kate Middleton, and even made arrangements to accommodate them in Windsor Castle.

It is also being reported that said rainmakers will be offered full British citizenships if the skies over England refuse to let fall their rain over the duration of the Royal wedding.

Speaking to reporters after he picked up his multiple-entry visa affixed passport from the British embassy in Lagos, the leader of the rainmakers, one Osarobo Enogie, said:

"Yes, we have all of us been invited to come there and checkmate any attempt for the rain to descend down that day."

And so it is that a band of sorcerers will be representing Nigeria at the Royal wedding. While some have called this an insult on Nigeria as a nation, others are just grateful that the invitation wasn't given to the First Lady instead.

Nigerian invited to Will & Kate’s Royal Wedding

The Royal wedding between Prince William and Kate taking place today, April 29th has become the talk of the town for a while now. Its been all over the place, from TV, radio, magazines and even stores. 

Among the 1900 guests invited to the wedding is Mr Seyi Obakin, Chief Executive of Centrepoint, a charity which caters to homeless youths of which the Prince William is a patron.

Centrepoint became Prince William’s first Patronage in 2005. His mother, Diana, Princess of Wales was also Patron of the Charity. Seyi slept rough with Prince William in London to highlight the issue of homelessness.

Picture of the Day

This is what I call on point.... I so want an Alex Folzi brief case...
You can place your orders for you own Alex Folzi @ www.alexfolzi.ca

New Video: Jah-Bless ft. Ice Prince, eLDee, Ruggedman, Durella & Reminisce - Joor Oh (Remix)

OFFICIAL RESULTS of the GUBER ELECTIONS

Ogun State 


ACN 377487, AMOSUN - WINNER


PDP 188698 OLORIN


PPN 137051. ISAKA


EUNGU STATE
PDP - 419, 790 - WINNER - Chime

LP - 30,136

PDC 29, 565 

ACN 5,086 

PPA - 1,011

ADC - 42
PDP won all the 24 LGA's in Eungu 

LAGOS STATE

ACN -  1,509,113 - Babatunde Raji Fashola - Winner 

PDP - 251,556 - Ade Dosunmu - 

CPC - 

LP -
APGA -
ACN won all Lagos House of Assembly seats.

OYO STATE
ACN - Senator Ajimobi - 399, 173 - WINNER
PDP - Alao Akala - 380, 162
CPC - Senator Shittu - 
Accord Party - Ladoja -269,617
Osun STATE
ACN wins all 26 seats in the Osun state house of assembly


KWARA STATE


PDP - 254969Abdulfatah Ahmed - WINNER
ACN -152,580  Dele Belgore.
ACPN 72,456 Gbemi Saraki
CPC 10,042


NASAWARA STATE
CPC - Umaru Tanko Al-Makura  - Winner
PDP - Aliyu Akwe Doma - incumbent 


RIVERS STATE


PDP - Rotimi Amaechi - winner




IMO STATE
Can not yet be determined. likely a rerun elections....
APGA - Owelle Rochas Okorocha

PDP - Ohakim 


JIGAWA STATE
Governor, Sule Lamido wins reelection by scoring 676,307 to defeat ACN’s Mohammed Badaru who got 343,177.


ABIA STATE
Incumbent won elections. PDP


ANAMBRA STATE


Guber still coming in......
ACN candidate Ngige clings Amanbra central seat beating Prof. Dora of APGA with a margin of 400 votes.


BENUE STATE


PDP - Winner
CPC - 
ACN -
APGA -
LP -


AKWA-IBOM STATE
PDP - Winner


KANO STATE
PDP - WINNER
REFRESH your browser FOR MORE OFFICIAL RESULTS. Follow TRENDS on twitter @bukchris for constant update 

Unofficial Elections Results Tricking in from different Polling Units in the South West

Please this results are unofficial. I might have posted some twice due to my error. The results are sourced from people posting their wads, Polling units results on social networks like facebook and twitter.

This blog is called TRENDS by Bukchris so we have to TREND all the way.

LAGOS STATE:-

ACN has won 14 of the LGA results that has been released. PDP has won non.


Amuwo- Odofin 
ACN-61719. ADC-362. ALP-99. ANPP-127. APGA-1120. CPC-199. CPN-71. LABOUR-351. NCP-115. NNPP-28. NPC-70. NTP-375. PDP-11222. PRP-46. SDMP-45

Ajeromi-Ifelodun 

ACN-101910. ADC-741. ALP-253. ANPP-340. APGA-360. CPC-534. CPN-140. LABOUR-75. NCP-217. NNPP-71. NPC-117. NTP-120. PDP-21529. PRP-130. SDMP-21

Dosunmu's PU:- ACN-156;PDP- 90; PRP- 1; NPC- 1; NCP- 2; LP- 1; ADC- 1;

Registered voters- 654;

Accredited voters- 280.

State House of Assembly :

ACN- 139; PDP- 97; NAP- 9; NRDD- 1; NCP- 3; ACD- 1; VOID-2.

At polling unit PU 40, Surulere Lagos. State House of Assembly, d results r as follows ACN 97 PDP 29 MPP 6, NTP 2, ...

Result - ACN 206, NCP 1, CPC 3, PDP 45, ... Lagos state, Ikeja, Ward Wasimi/opebi/allen, polling unit- Juntion of Omolara/ Agbaoku street.

Lagos State house of Assembly.PU:24/10/05/020 Iju ishaga ACN-78, PDP-21, ACPN-4, NCP-2, AD-1 PDP-21, #

Result of gubernatorial polls at PU: 24/08/08/001 Awolowo Rd, Ikoyi, Lagos ACN - 67, PDP - 36, CPC - 1, NCP – 1

Oyo State:-


OYO: Out of 30 local council results declared, ACN wins 16; PDP 11 and Accord party 3. Results from three councils still expected.


So by by INEC's results ACN is winning oyo state with a land slide victory....  My POPING would soon start.....


23 LGA results declared in oyo state, ACN282,196.... PDP269,632

UPDATE: ACN takes 18, PDP got 11 and Accord had 4 State House of Assembly seats in Oyo State.

Another unit 4rm oyo state: Another unit in saki oyo state Gov PDP=53 Acord=52 A CN=100 Assm PDP=59 Acord=43 A CN=73

4rm oyo state: PU/32/09/12 pollin unit in saki oyo state Gov PDP=32 Accord=51 A CN=58 Assmb PDP=36 Accord=59,A CN=39... ACN 

PU/32/09/12 pollin unit in saki oyo state Gov PDP=32, Accord=51, ACN=58, Invalid 5

NORTH OYO STATE (BASHORUN) WARD 5 RESULT GUBERNATORIAL VOID: 6 PDP : 69 ...ACN : 161 ACCORD : 191

Ward2 saki in Oyo state,Govnor PDP=2309 A CN=2511,Assmbly,PDP=1365 A CN=2121

Oyo state Egbeda ward 05 my polling booth! Governorship: Accord-405, ACN-115 PDP-70.

 Oyo State, Oluyole LG. PU 30/25/10/006: ACN 210 ACCORD 140 PDP 90

Awe Ward II, Afijio LGA of Oyo State ~ PU:30/01/07/006 ~ Gov: PDP-54 ACN-93 Accord-24 LP-01 AD-01 APGA-18 CPC-1

 Lagbedu Ward, Ogbomosho South LGA, OyoState ~ PU:30/22/09/001 ~ Governorship: PDP-124 ACN-16, Accord-8.

PU in Akinyele LGA, Oyo state- ACCORD- 118, PDP-79, ACN-169

: Ward 9 in Saki Oyo state comprising 13poling centre Gov PDP=1138, Accord=1117,ACN=1470,Assembly PDP=1218,Accord=898,ACN=1162


PU:30/06/10/015 Oshuntokun Bodija, Oyo State PDP-68 AD-2 Accord-82 ACN-196


OYO STATE: ELECTION- IMOLEFALAFIA WARD 9 UNIT 45 IBADAN: ACN 198 ACORD. 42 PDP 27


Ward 9 in Saki Oyo state comprising 13poling centre Govt PDP=1138,Acord=1117,A CN=1470,Assmbly PDP=1218,Accord=898,A CN=1162


OYO STATE: ELECTION- IMOLEFALAFIA WARD 9 UNIT 45 IBADAN: ACN 198 ACORD. 42 PDP 27


Iseyin Ado Awaye Ward 1 Unit 1. ACN: 180, PDP: 107, Accord: 0.


Tedder hall UI pdp-58, accord-91, acn-236 ibadan,oyo state guber


Ogun State:-


Anouncing the final result for Ogun State ACN 377487, PDP 188698 and PPN 137051.


ACN has won 14 of the 20 LGA's in Ogun State.


UPDATE: ACN has won 24 of the 26 seats in the Ogun StateHouse of Assembly while PDP took remaining 2 slots.

 Sango Ogun State 03/018: ACN 287 PDP 17 PPN 6 Void 34 Total Cast 352

Ogun: Abeokuta-south, PU-27-02-13-003: State Assembly: ACN 165, PDP 32, PPN 25 | Guber: ACN 224, PDP 31, PPN 28.

Ogun: Abeokuta-south, Area-igbore/agooba, Pu-27/02\13\002,State Assembly: - ACN 144,PDP 23, PPN 34. Guber: -ACN 184, PDP 22, PPN 29.

RESULT PU016, Akute/Ajuwon, Ogun State Gov ACN-225 PPN-183 PDP-22 ~ HOA ACN-234 PPN-128 PDP-13

Salisu PU in Ifo LGA Ogun State. GOV: ACN-142 PDP-61 PPN-30 ~ HOA ACN-120 PDP-64 PPN-27

Odeda LG,ward 3,Olodo,Ogun State. House of Assembly ,ACN 830 PDP 499,PPN 366."

PU/15/02/011, Obafemi Owode Local Govt. Arepo Ogun State - Governorship Results - PDP:99, PPN:88, ACN: 319

01/13/11 ogun state,abeokuta north. PDP 14,PPN 10,LP 1 ,CPC 3,APGA 1,ACN 271,VOID 21,TOTAL ACREDATION 340

State house of assembly(Kemta. Polling unit Ogun State -PDP-33,PPN-98,ACN-23


PU: 27/17/03/009 Odogbolu LGA Ogun State National Assembly (Reps) ACN-14. PPN-13. PDP-59. Labour 11


voted in ogun state,ACN won wit 450 votes PDP 83 votes while PPN came last wit 62 votes,my vote counted cos i voted 4 ACN


RESULTS: Salisu PU in Ifo LGA Ogun State. GOV: ACN-142 PDP-61 PPN-30 ~ HOA ACN-120 PDP-64 PPN-27


KWARA STATE

Kwara hotel 1/ilorin east
ACN 122, ACPN 44, ALP 1, ANPP 1, CPC 2, PDP 151, RPN 1

Mogaji are 2

ACN 183, ACPN 14, PDP 58, RPN 2, DPP 2, ALP 1, ANPP 1, CPC 1


IMO STATE


AGPA has won 6 of the 10 LGA that has been released. PDP has 4.


ENUGU STATE


Current governor has been reelected. (PDP) 


KANO STATE


42 of the 44 LGA has been released. PDP leading with 22, followed by ANPP, CPC none

Refresh for updates

ACN boi 4life!! Where do you belong?

Picture of The Day

Vote DESPERADOES out by voting for ACN

HAVE YOU ALL HEARD?!!!!!! ACN is the Norh's ark that would save the people of Lagos, Ogun and Oyo States. The people of Lagos state has taken refuge in it since 2007 and obviously still want to continue taking refuge inside of it. Thank you for voting En masses during the National Assembly elections. Lets surprise the desperadoes in the Governorship and House of Assembly by taking refuge in the Norh's Ark of ACN. 

Vote Babatunde Raji Fashola for Lagos State

Vote Senator Ibikunle Amosun for Ogun State

Vote Senator Ajimobi for Oyo State

and Vote all ACN candidates into the State House of Assembly